Only One Thing Is Certain…

In olden times, in days of yore…

When digital technology was slow & expensive. A novelty…

When Peter Jackson was known for Heavenly Creatures…

When a Lord of the Rings film was less likely than a Star Wars film…

Back in the days of Elgin…

A conversation began and it went something like this:

Craig and Bill need help casting “Lord of the Rings” The Movie. We assume that, in the near future, digital technology will progress to the point where we will be able to cast any actor from any time period, regardless of whether or not s/he is still among the living. Likewise, due to advances in makeup and digital technology, any actor may be cast in any role, regardless of height, etc. In other words, you don’t necessarily have to cast short actors as Hobbits, Dwarfs, Gollum, et. al. No limits have been set, no rules imposed. Only one thing is certain…

Michael Caine IS Frodo Baggins!

Character Actor
Hobbits Bilbo Baggins Ernest Borgnine
Frodo Baggins Michael Caine
Meriadoc “Merry” Brandybuck Joel Hodgson
Hamfast “The Gaffer” Gamgee Burgess Merideth
Samwise “Sam” Gamgee Colm Meaney
Farmer Maggot Harry Morgan
Lobelia Sackville-Baggins Rhea Perlman
Lotho Sackville-Baggins Ron Howard
Peregrin “Pippin” Took Mike Nelson
Wizards Gandalf Charlton Heston
Radagast Malcolm MacDowell
Saruman Donald Sutherland
Elves Celeborn young Ricardo Montalban
Elrond Morgan Freeman
Galadriel young Audrey Hepburn
Glorfindel Ben Kingsley
Legolas Errol Flynn
Dwarfs Gimli Arnold Schwarzenegger
Humans Aragorn “Strider” “Raiders” Harrison Ford
Boromir Gary Busey
Barliman Butterbur Peter Boyle
Denethor Patrick Stewart
Eomer Liam Neeson
Eowyn Emma Thompson
Faramir Kenneth Branagh
Bill Ferny Dan Hedaya
Harry Goatleaf Tim Robbins
Grima “Wormtongue” Dwight Schultz
Theoden Sean Connery
Orcs Gorbag Samual L Jackson
Grishnakh Johnathan Frakes
Shagrat Michael Dorn
Snaga Dennis Franz
Other (Good) Tom Bombadil Burl Ives
Fangorn “Treebeard”,
Voice of
James Earl Jones
Goldberry 1960s Teri Garr
Other (Bad) Barrow Wight Boris Karloff
Gollum young Peter Lorre
Lord of the Nazgul Gary Oldman
Mouth of Sauron John Malkovitch
Shelob Kathy Bates

  • Are these choices still the right choices?
  • Were they ever the right choices?
  • Do we need to start adding decades to more actors?
    (1990s Kenneth Branagh & Emma Thompson?)
  • What other characters need to be cast?
  • Do I need to correctly spell names now that we have IMDB?
  • Do we need images of these actors in these roles to decide?
  • What do older and wiser heads believe?

Let us know in the comments, but remember the one constant:

New for 2016

One thought on “Only One Thing Is Certain…”

  1. For what it’s worth, there’s some cast from the movie that I feel really hit the mark. Sean Bean as Boromir made that a character I actually cared about. Ian Holm as Bilbo felt pretty on target as well.

    Tolkien super-fan Christopher Lee as Gandalf this time around, perhaps?

    I’m also intrigued with the idea of Brendan Coyle (Mr. Bates from Downton Abbey) as Samwise stemming from a discussion with Trogdor about his finally being able to better able to explain the British master/servant relationship of Sam and Frodo now that Downton is in the public consciousness.

    Colm Meaney still needs to (officially) be a hobbit, though.

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