Considerate truck drivers thoughtfully "clear" all deer from ditches earlier in day leaving open roads for return trip from B-Squad Season Opener ...

Actually, that's true. It was smooth sailing all the way home, though the extended return drive time provided ample opportunity for considered reflection. Or confused ramblings.

Self-Appointed "B-Fan" Questions Merits of 14-Hour Excursion at His Age CEDAR RAPIDS, IA - Following an impulse 14-hour round-trip visit to the Twin Cities for the season opener of the B-Squad, a Cedar Rapidian wakes up and smells the coffee. Then greedily drinks it. "Holy smokes!" said Bill P., who declined to let us use his full name. "I'm wiped out. Four years ago I swear I wouldn't have batted an eye at this, but I can barely form coherent thoughts this morning. Do you suppose it's possible I've gotten too old for this?" "It seemed like such a good idea yesterday, but now..." While praising the quality of the camaraderie, Dagos, and Premium Grain Belt, the B-Fan cited "not taking into account that I've sat on my rear for four years working on websites" as the primary problem with the trip. "The sad fact is that my activity level has actually dropped off in the last four years. That's frightening. God forbid the team ever actually does get me to pick up a bat and play at a game like they keep threatening to do. I'm wiped out from driving, for Pete's sake." "No sir, it's the fanboy's life for me. Go B-Squad!" When asked about his plans regarding future games this season he replied "Oh heck, give me two weeks to forget about this 'driving hangover' and I'll be raving about how much fun it was. I'll be back. Besides, have you seen the hot women that go to those games? Word, Bricker. Iz all 'bout hangin' with da fine, fine B-Zquad Honeyz." Following a request to never speak like that again he added, "Well, I should probably at least get some new material so I can update my tribute webpage."