Zardoz's Damned Laptop.

So, it's Wednesday and, while Monday and Tuesday were pretty stressful, today really seemed so much worse.

"But, Zoot...why were you so stressed out today?" you might ask (OK, no one EVER gives a $H!T when someone else says that they had a stressful day but you're going to hear me out anyway...and you'll like it).

Well, today was stressful because Zardoz, being the needy-high-maintenance-evil-web-genius-type that he is, actually expected me to spend the entire day fixing his laptop.

Pttphhllllzzz!...You know, just because the sign on my office door says "Technology" that doesn't mean I'm going to actually care if your computer works or not. I mean, does God answer every prayer that's left on his calling plan's voice messaging system? Of course he doesn't! And it's for your own good too! If God fulfilled your every desire the collective would become weighted down by the saturnalian, and profligate habits that you would so unavoidably develop as a result (and which can only occur by such reckless wish-fulfilling). Your ostracization…from mankind would be most definitely assured and eventually you'd be cut free from this ship we like to call Mother Earth like so much organic ballast (heh...mortals...).

If you don't believe me then consider the following as proof: Tom Jones, William Shatner, and David Naughton all built their empires the hard way and as such they are all still with us (and kicking major ass, I might add). BUT, McLean Stephenson, Larry Storch, and that no talent sissy Jimi Hendrix are not.

What?... Larry Storch isn't dead yet? Alright, so sue me - you get my point (and I can show you the Venn diagrams if need be)!

BUUUTTTT...I went ahead and fixed Zardoz's laptop anyway. I should, however, point out that I only did it because I need Zardoz to fullfill my evil plan to take over the world. Plus, he knows some people who know some people who could make my life very difficult if I were to hack him off.

So, what does any of this have to do with BIYF? Well, toward the end of the day Zardoz asked if I wanted to go out and get a few brewskis after work this coming Friday. I've been promising myself that I'd cut back a bit on the beer consumption lately (damn you Zardoz!) but after dealing with his recalcitrant laptop all day and...you know...having to actually talk to people and stuff, I decided that I was in desperate need of a beer tonight. I couldn't wait for Friday. So, I'm drinking beer right now as I type this - and damn it, the apocolyptic wind that will ensue as the result of the successful execution of my evil master plan is just going to have to wait one more day now.

But...I guess I'm cool with that *BUUUURRRRP!*