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Chapter One - GENESIS In the beginning there was The Internet...
To alleviate the pain and boredom of the masses, Jim sent forth the Haircut Photograph.
With this simple act, enlightenment dawned and the age of Jim began. The true purpose of The Internet, which is the Glorification of Jim, became clear and that has led to the creation of this page. |
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Chapter Two - "He's Here!" Into the midst of their revelry came Jim, and they bade him welcome...
Click here to hear "He's here!" Click here for the transcript and translation of "He's here!" Click here for more from Doug LaPoint. |
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Chapter Three - THE HAIRCUT CRISIS (Day One, May 5, 1999) Thus it came to pass that Jim was wracked with indecision... While Jim had shown great compassion for others by his charitable contributions to the content of the World Wide Web, he now found himself needing input from others, just as they had needed his. Faced with the decision to either cut, or refrain from cutting, his hair yet another time, Jim sent forth the Current Hair Photograph and requested the aid of the Online Community. Help him in his hour of need and email Jim with your opinion at bricker@biyf.com. His decision will be posted here. Or not. Whatever the will of Jim dictates.
Click here for more from Doug LaPoint. |
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Chapter Four - ASCENSION And with no warning came the hit from his site, alerting the watchful that Jim had arrived... His patience exhaused, Jim took it upon himself to personally bring fresh material to the Online Community. Now the masses could not only hear OF Jim, they could hear FROM Him. There was much rejoicing...  
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Chapter Five - THE VISIONS The visitors gazed upon the images of Jim and were humbled...
The Book of Jim credits Tim Anderson for his donation and owes him a bottle of holy porter in payment. |
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Look for divine proof that Beer is indeed Jim's Friend ... |
Jim
looked at The Internet and saw that it was good, although he mourned
the dearth of new material on it. Everything was recycled from some
other source and it was apparent that They didn't want that to change.
Though
Jim had brought some relief to the troubled souls searching the web
for new content, it was not enough. He next offered up an audio file,
recorded in the ancient tongue, which sparked a small furor of mass
emailing. Sages far and near transcribed and debated the file, until
Jim provided the definitive translation. It appears that the Official
Greeting Ritual contained within may only be appropriate at certain
pagan festivals, perhaps those honoring Bacchus.
Even
as Jim labored, others took up his cause and sent forth visions of Jim
via e-mail to the Faithful for use in their efforts. These images numbered
three, no more, no less, and were as follows: